Wow, the stuff you find when cleaning

as i had said before, i printed out my old blog and have been reading over it the last few days. and wow, some of the things i was going through, many of which i will prolly never post about again. but it just reminds me of how we change, grow and overcome obstacles with time. how we can heal, forget and yes, in time forgive ourselves for mistakes. i cherish my family and my friends. i'm not afraid to tell others of my tribulations, in hope that it will help them to heal and maybe find their own path.  i did find an old story that i wrote that i am thinking about using for my Creative Writing class. it needs some work, but i think its perfect. its the best piece i have ever written. besides, it would be nice to shock my class lol... they think i am so meek, quiet and boring. people need to be awakened every now and then. :) i was confused, angry,and resentful. but since having Alex, i have come to accept things better, knowing that somethings aren't my fault and that if we look deep enough inside, we can find our own inner peace. i work with my doctors now to maintain the optimal health for me, both mentally and physically. i'm rattling now, so i'll cut this one short and chat later... but i will leave you with one of my poems:

i wrote this one for my Dad but it still rings true about some of the things Alex has taught me.

Lessons In Life

you taught me how to live and how to love

you taught me how to make mistakes and to learn from them

you taught me how to have fun

you taught me about dedication and perseverance

you taught me about the quality of life, not the quantity

you taught me that i could over come anything, that i was a survivor

you taught me how to fix the car and mow the lawn

you taught me how to live with no regrets

you taught me how to give others my happiness

you taught me the value of friendship

you taught me how to be a parent, the best parent

you taught me mercy

you taught me how to laugh, even at the worst of times

you taught me how to fish

you taught me how to be generous

you taught me to not take life too seriously

you taught me the best ways to pick on mom

you taught me how to LIVE!!

i love you, dad... and i miss you, dad.