I often wonder at this low time in my life, how am I supposed to post something positive? Don't get me wrong, I feel blessed. I have 4 wonderful children, a great man for a husband, and a supportive network of family and friends. But it is often difficult for me to post the positive things in my life. right now the depression is really bad, almost a desolate feeling. there are times when i just feel like i hate my life, but really i know i don't. i have so much to be happy for.
for example, right now i'm having a discussion with damien over the future of lil walter because lil walter is happy here for the most part but he is causing so many problems. i don't know how to keep the peace any more. i don't know how to keep lil walter happy. he wants to be here but he wants to be with his dad and i've told him he can't have it both ways.
its seems like every week something is going wrong with my house. whether it is something small that looks like something big or it really is something big... its always something. recently it was a bad surge protector strip that caused the living room breaker to trip. took me half a day to figure out what it was.
then i have the stresses of school. i have to pass, i have to go 3 more weeks in this term, but i just don;t have it in me. its the depression, i know what it is. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna pass 2 of my classes. i may barely pass Spanish. but the last class, i'm not so sure if i'm gonna pass. :( and that just adds to the stress.
about the best thing i have to look forward to is the fact that i'm moving to maryland. i can't wait and wish i could go now. but even that feels like a daunting task ahead of me. all the packing and the arrangements to find a suitable place to stay.
it seems like everywhere i turn, everything i seem to do has a downside that i just can't get past. but it wasn't always like this, there used to be sunshine at the end of the tunnel. i promise.
on another up note, damien will be home for a short visit to take care of some paperwork in a few weeks. :) and i can't forsee any downside to that.
well, later y'all
Blessed Be
for example, right now i'm having a discussion with damien over the future of lil walter because lil walter is happy here for the most part but he is causing so many problems. i don't know how to keep the peace any more. i don't know how to keep lil walter happy. he wants to be here but he wants to be with his dad and i've told him he can't have it both ways.
its seems like every week something is going wrong with my house. whether it is something small that looks like something big or it really is something big... its always something. recently it was a bad surge protector strip that caused the living room breaker to trip. took me half a day to figure out what it was.
then i have the stresses of school. i have to pass, i have to go 3 more weeks in this term, but i just don;t have it in me. its the depression, i know what it is. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna pass 2 of my classes. i may barely pass Spanish. but the last class, i'm not so sure if i'm gonna pass. :( and that just adds to the stress.
about the best thing i have to look forward to is the fact that i'm moving to maryland. i can't wait and wish i could go now. but even that feels like a daunting task ahead of me. all the packing and the arrangements to find a suitable place to stay.
it seems like everywhere i turn, everything i seem to do has a downside that i just can't get past. but it wasn't always like this, there used to be sunshine at the end of the tunnel. i promise.
on another up note, damien will be home for a short visit to take care of some paperwork in a few weeks. :) and i can't forsee any downside to that.
well, later y'all
Blessed Be
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